A few years ago, I heard the story of a female activist who was a member of an Iranian political group in the diaspora. An activist who faced discrimination and abuse in the context of her political activities, even before she arrived in to Germany. All simply because she was a woman.
When she arrived and applied for asylum, she lived in the house of one of the group members for a while, at the suggestion of the group members.
After some time, the activist ran away from the house of her political comrade because she was being sexually and psychologically abused, and after some time she raised the issue of abuse with the rest of the groups.
If the story itself was not shocking enough, what happened after the abuse was made public within the group and beyond was.
In short, a field trial was formed for the political activist within the group in the presence of her abuser, she was accused of accusing the guy, she was forced to prove her story and recound and retell how she was abused by him. And in the end, the verdict of this field trial was: „Nothing happened to her out of the ordinary, out of the daily dose of sexism that women experience in their daily lives. It wasn’t important enough to make a big deal out of it.“
Outside the group, the woman was boycotted for not sitting quietly and questioning political groups, especially those claiming to have feminist motives, about their close ties to her abuser and his supporters.
Needless to say, she was shouted down with a deformation lawsuit by her abuser.
What happened to the female activist after she spoke openly about the issue of sexual abuse and the harm done to victims when they side with their abusers is shocking, yet consistent with the lived experience of many women of color activists.
But the most bitter part of the story is that we often witness this kind of discriminatory and abusive treatment towards women of color activists. Not only do these women not receive any support and solidarity in the context of left activism, but they are also cut off from the activist scene mainly because of the above-mentioned points. Nevertheless, their abusers are allowed to roam the scene and are credited and even appreciated for their activism.
Maryam’s story is very similar to mine. With a few minor differences:
I have been abused. To put it in words without getting into legal trouble, I was sexually abused, I was gaslighted, manipulated and exploited in the context of my intimate relationship, my professional life and my activism. To the point that just to survive, I had to leave my job, the life I had built as a refugee here without support, and just run away from my abuser and his abuser friends who minimized my experience of brutal abuse and blamed me for causing it, blamed me for being a victim, and saw me as such. My abuser and his abuser friends told me not to be like Maryam. Don’t be like her, don’t be out of line, learn from what happened to her. Don’t follow in her footsteps, don’t say you are a victim of abuse. Don’t be crazy like her.”
But the thramatic experience didn’t end with runing away from my abusers:
What made my experince dreadfully thramatic was the threatment I received by people claimed to be feminst and queer feminst.
I am a refugee woman. I have been active in the antiracist and anti-fascist scene in Germany for years. Where I had to face racism and sexism in the left scene:
When it was necessary and convenient for my white or PoC comrades, it was great to show a speaking refugee woman criticizing the discriminatory asylum system, racist structures, or anything that fit into their agenda. But when the racism and sexism in the scene was addressed or threatened by me, there was no desire to tokenize me.
To open it up a little bit more, activist women of color are mostly not considered allies when it comes to fighting the patriarchal system and its toll on all of our lives. They are the ones who are supposed to be empowered, they are the ones who are supposed to be taught things. They are the naive victims of patriarchy who were supposed to be taught about gender equality, feminism, women’s emancipation and so on. All by white activists or their chosen tokens.
I can count many stories of PoC abusers of women of color activists receiving motherly support and solidarity from white feminists who are proud to have trained them to express feminist views.
I can recount many of my stories of being discriminated against by white, self-proclaimed queer feminists when a man of color’s words or actions were in the middle.
I’ve taken all the mistreatment and discriminations in stride, endured them, and continued my activism just to help people like me.
But how far can one carry on alone?
When I run from my abusers, I find myself supper alone and felt very much hopeless, not because I was victom of abuse, no, I got victom to not only insufficiancy of legal structurs and law, or lack of support structure for victoms of abuse on governmental level and NGO level, but it stoke me how ignorant activists in the left scene can be towards such assults. It was more striking for me seeing my accounts of experiencing physical and spycological abuse, and the threats I received were not taken seriously. That they were labled relationship issues. If it is really relationship issues, then why feminist projects are formed around educating women of color about gender equality, standing against explotation and abuse in their relationships?
When I ran away from my abusers, I found myself all alone and felt very hopeless, not because I was a victim of abuse, no, not only did I become a victim of the inadequacy of legal structures and laws, or the lack of support structures for victims of abuse at the governmental and NGO level, but I became a victim to ignorance in the left scene on topics of abuse and assult.
It was even more striking for me to see my accounts of experiencing physical and psychological abuse and the threats I received not being taken seriously. That they were labeled as relationship problems. If they are really relationship issues.
Funny remark: Then why are feminist projects formed around educating women of color about gender equality and standing up against exploitation and abuse in their relationships?
It was hard for me to see my abusers being promoted as creators of a so-called safe space based on my ideas and hard work, and I, like any other oppressed woman, face the financial deprivations that are commonly happen to women in patriarchal structures.
It was painful telling my story to people who claimed to be feminist/queer feminst, claimed they want to support me, only to hear the catchphrase of: Oh, we are shocked! We don’t know what to do!
So where does all the theory that was/is being produced and shared go?! When are they supposed to be put into motion?
Where is the basic act of standing in solidarity with the victims of abuse and patriarchy?
The truth is that there is systematic sexism and racism going on in the left scene and support structures, especially against women of color (trans women are women), which makes Maryam’s story or my story only 2 out of tons.
I am here to say, the ignorance we receive as victims is traumatizing. The silenced we faces, with this ignorance, whith seeing our abusers in charge of safe spaces, seeing them welcome to the places we don’t feel safe to be, is traumatizing. Not being to speak openly about all these injustice and lived traumas, is traumatizing. Being shout down and forced to maintain our silence by the force of diformation lawsuits are traumatizng. Screeming inside while no voice could be outtered is traumatizing.
I found Maryam and others like me through my search in addressing the injsutice. I was empowered by people like me, women of color victims of existing pathriarchy in society and in the left scene.
The truth is me standing here today and speaking outloud came through the support of my PoC sisters, and few close and safe people around me.
It is worth noting that the person who represented Maryam’s predator in court was from The Left. One argument he made to the judge was, quote:
„We are leftists, sexism has no place among us.“
Maryam’s abusers are among the Farsi editorial group of Daily Resistance, among the Feminista Berlin collective, and so on.
My perpetrators, who run a so-called alternative bar and an alternative café, can be read the outstanding level of their sexism by seeing the hanged image of the admirable theorist and revolutionist Rosa Luxamburg on a pink wall, which is associated with femininity through her name, Rosa.